I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
