just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
