Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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