I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
