is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I need water and some morals
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
