Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
