Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
