My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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