His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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