Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
