During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
We're too hungover to prance.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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