this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
