yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
