It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
