It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
