yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Randomize
