a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
