hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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