He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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