PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
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Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
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I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
You've changed since you got that strap on
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
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