Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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