$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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