we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
