if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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