the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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