Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
