And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
You have to summon your inner elephant
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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