somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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