people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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