I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
