did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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