Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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