Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
