Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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