I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
this is an emotional support booty call
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
