you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
