I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize