Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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