Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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