I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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