I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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