Jerry, you need to find god
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
