Your tits are I can't wait for
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
