My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
