i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
