hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Randomize
