sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
