Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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