I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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