I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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