I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
