I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
