I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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