I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
