I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
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