pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
