All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
