So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
