Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
