he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
