so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
