'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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